Good afternoon fellow bloggers, followers, friends and family! So today's sermon was on sinful anger and I was guilty of harboring anger in my heart for years against both my parents. I was angry at my father for abandoning me at the age of 3. My Mom was in turn angry with my father and took out her anger on her 3 children in return. My Mom raised us in church and we had great role models at church to look to for guidence and yes I still keep in contact with Sunday School teachers, Youth Ministers and Pastors from my church I grew up in through facebook. So if I make a big deal about facebook that's why is I can keep in contact with those who helped raise me through some pretty tough years growing up. I have a lot of great memories that I will always treasure because of being part of a loving church family as a child. Anyways got off track...I was very angry, bitter, and unforgiving even as a child of God. That wasn't the life that God intended for me to live. It was one of the hardest things to forgive my father for the hurt and pain he inflicted on me through his actions. I felt justified in my decision to harbor anger. One Wednesday as I put my feet on the floor getting out of bed I felt this overwhelming peace come over me I knew that it was the Lord and he was telling me that I need to forgive him and release that anger to the Lord. At that moment I felt that anger that consumed me begin to release and fall off and then I felt at peace. I have never had this much peace in my life as a Christian. WOW God began to change my heart in ways that I have never knew before. As far as my Mom I forgave her years ago for being so angry that she would take out her frustration with words and actions. She never physically abused us it was more emotional abuse. I felt worthless and that I had no purpose in life. Emotional abuse to me is the toughest to work through because it deals with your self worth and value and it really puts a strain on your relationship with the Lord. The way you view God and the love He has for you. I thought God was out to punish me for sin and that goes against everything I was taught growing up in church. I knew in my head that God loved me but in my heart it was just overwhelming to me due to the lies that were fed to me through Satan. I hope this is makiing some since to someone out there. It's hard to explain at times. As I study God's word and His Holy Spirit heals my heart those feelings of worthlessness are slowly being replaced by God's great love He has for me as His child.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
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1 comments:
I had heard your testimony before, but reading this brought it all back again for me...my mother's verbal abuse. I remember telling you about it. Your testimony speaks volumes to me. It's so powerful. Thank you for sharing and for your blog. We are all beautiful in God's sight. The message this Sunday on anger WAS amazing. Thanks for the recap. ;) May God bless you and your ministry. Love-Christine
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